Kershaw Legal Services, PLLC

In a perfect world, there would be no divorce. It is never easy, and it is always emotionally draining. The divorce process requires you to make tough decisions that will have a lasting impact on both you and your family. It is a decision that should never be taken lightly. Often, however, divorce is a necessary reality. If you are facing or considering divorce, I first want to assure you that your life is not over and that there is hope. I also want to help you find the resources you need to make the choices that are best for your situation. And, if divorce is inevitable or necessary in your situation, I want to guide you through the process in a way that will help you to hold on to your hope during this season of your life.

In reviewing your divorce case, there are multiple factors that we will need to look at together. These may include your own financial needs, the well-being of your children, the economic realties of your marriage, your short-term and long-term physical and emotional health, and your ongoing relationship with your children. It is also important to consider the possibility that you will have continued interactions with your ex-spouse. This is especially true if you have children together.

What are my options?

It is important to consider these and other factors. No two situations are identical, so I believe it is important to develop a plan of action that is best for you and your family. Many people think that the only way that a divorcing couple can resolve their differences is through a divisive court battle. Although the court must ultimately approve the divorce, there exist several options to avoid the emotional and financial costs of the trial process. These options include:

• Mediation is a process that allows the parties discuss some or all of the issues involved in the divorce with a neutral third-party called a mediator. A mediator is a person who is specially trained in settling the disputes that arise in divorce. The mediator usually has a background in law, psychology, or counseling. In many situations, a mediator will be provided by the Friend of the Court. In other situations, it is advisable to use a private mediator who has been agreed upon by both parties. Often, but not always, the parties will attend mediation with their attorney present. These kinds of decisions should be made by each party with the help of his or her attorney.
  
  During mediation, the mediator facilitates a discussion between the parties. Together, the parties examine the specific issues of their situation. Each party brings to the mediation all relevant information. This allows the parties to discuss their settlement options with the help of the mediator. The goal of this process is to help both parties resolve the specific issues of the divorce in a way that is acceptable to everyone involved.
  
  When mediation works successfully, it allows the parties to come to an agreement that is specifically designed to meet their needs. The settlements that come out of the mediation process often meet the needs of both parties in ways that attorney negotiated settlements and trial judgments cannot. Also, because mediation is not part of the court record, it allows the parties to protect their privacy. Mediation encourages communication and mutual participation. Most importantly, the level of cooperation involved in mediation sends a uniquely positive message to the children that their mother and father are able to work toward the solution that is best for everyone involved.

For more information about mediation, please visit: www.familymediation.com

• Collaborative Practice may appear similar to mediation, but it is different in several respects. Collaboration usually requires that the parties agree ahead of time to resolve their differences outside of the courtroom. Also, collaboration allows the parties to take advantage of the expertise of several professionals who can help them to make appropriate decisions. For example, if there is a home, business, or other valuable property that is at stake, the parties may agree to use an appraiser as part of their collaboration team. Another example is that the parties might seek the advice of a CPA and/or a financial planner in addressing the financial issues involved in the divorce. Collaboration allows the parties to build a team of experts with skills that are specially catered to the parties’ needs.
  
  Like mediation, collaboration can reduce the level of conflict and stress involved in the divorce process. It allows the parties to come to an agreement that works well for each of them. Furthermore, when the parties have actively collaborated in reaching a settlement, each party is more likely to comply with it. Thus, enforcement of the agreement is often much easier. Collaboration also protects the privacy of everyone involved. Finally, like mediation, collaboration communicates to the children that they are important and valued. It makes the best interests of the children a priority during a period that is already very stressful for them and their parents.

For more information about collaboration, please visit: www.CollaborativePracticeMI.org

• Attorney Negotiated Settlement is technically a product of the trial process. In the past, many attorneys have used this as their sole or primary means of reaching settlement prior to trial. This process differs from the methods mentioned above in that it allows for less direct input from the parties involved. Although each spouse and the judge must ultimately agree to the terms of the settlement, the negotiation is done mostly by the attorneys. Each attorney is acting according to what he or she believes to be best suited for the client. Often, this process brings about a result that is workable for both parties, but ideal for neither. It is often very difficult in the course of attorney negotiations to reach a settlement that takes into account all of the unique emotional, physical, and spiritual needs of the parties. Additionally, this process requires each attorney to spend extensive time preparing for the possibility of trial. This often results in increased attorney fees and other costs for both parties.
  
  Unfortunately, in some situations, this is the only means of reaching a settlement without going to trial. There are even some situations in which it may be advisable to consider this option first. You should seek the advice of an attorney, before you have filed for divorce to help you decide which path is best for you. This one decision may ultimately save you countless headaches and worries, as well as thousands of dollars.

What should I look for in an attorney?

Although there are many options available to help you get through your divorce without going to trial, a good divorce attorney will be willing and ready to go to trial if necessary. There is no substitute for an attorney who diligently prepares for each case. It is also important to find an attorney who is able to advise you about the multiple options you have in resolving your case. Although it is important that your attorney offer sound advice, an attorney should also listen to and respect the client’s opinions. Most importantly, when you are facing divorce, you need an attorney who has thorough and up-to-date knowledge of Michigan family law.

No attorney can realistically promise you a specific result. Any attorney who makes specific promises to you about the outcome of your case should cause you great concern. I can promise, however, that I will work hard to help you find the solution that is best for you. I will carefully advise you about all the options that are applicable to your situation. I am and will continue to remain knowledgeable about the state of family law in Michigan. I will allow you and help you to make your own decisions*, and however we decide to proceed, I will thoughtfully, diligently, and compassionately advise, encourage, and advocate for you.

How should I prepare for my initial consultation?

 If you believe that you may be heading for divorce, it is vital that you prepare appropriately. It is never too early to speak with an attorney; you should select an attorney who will advise you and support you in making the decision that is best for you. It is also important to know that no website, book, pamphlet, or any other similar material can adequately advise you about the specifics of your situation. Therefore, none of the information presented on this website should be construed as legal advice.

Although you should always be aware of the state of your finances, it is especially important when you may be facing divorce. You should know how much you earn and how much your spouse earns. You should know how many accounts you have, which banks or credit unions they are held at, and how much is in each of them. Also, you should know how much money you and your spouse ordinarily spend each month. You should know how much debt you have and what major pieces of property that you own.

When you first meet with your attorney, you should be prepared to provide this kind of information. You may be asked to provide current bank, credit card, loan, mortgage, and investment statements. You may also be asked to provide your tax forms from the previous year. You should also be prepared to provide your attorney with information about your home, any vehicles that are owned by you or your spouse, and anything else of significant value that is owned by you or your spouse, such as expensive jewelry or a business. Of course, it is also important that your attorney know if you have children, how old they are, and their relationship your spouse (for example, whether they are children or step-children of your spouse). Your attorney may also request other information that will be helpful in making decisions about your case.

What should I do if I have questions about my divorce or any family legal issue, such as custody, parenting time, adoption, or guardianships?

Family law is a detailed and intricate area of the law. It is not possible to provide adequate legal advice on a website, and nothing on this website should be regarded as legal advice for your situation. If you have questions about your situation, please call me at 734-740-3239.

* Of course, no attorney can assist you in any activity or course of action that is illegal or unethical.